At any given moment, you could be fighting a lake monster in a tiny boat, riding a mine cart, navigating lava pits, or - lest we forget - exchanging quips with squeaky-voiced midget Napoleon in the verbal warfare equivalent of two retards playing happy slaps. Resident Evil 4 was a game with an abundance of ideas. Now we have Resident Evil 5, a sequel that brings only arbitrary gameplay elements that improve bugger all and more unresolved plot threads to OH DEAR! Most importantly, it was only tangentially related to the established plot, keeping things accessible to new players and largely untainted by the stink of mangled octopus giblets. Completely retooled gameplay and a story which, while reading like something written out in piss on a snowy pavement, seemed to be going about things with a deliberate sense of ironic, retro camp, which seems to about as sophisticated as Capcom gets. The sequels that followed brought only arbitrary gameplay additions that improved bugger all and more unresolved plot threads to staple on to an arching storyline that increasingly resembled a colony of octopi going through the wood chipper.īut Resident Evil 4 was the first game in the series I liked. Resident Evil 1 was a snore-worthy corridor-fest that controlled like reversing a golf cart around a hedge maze, strung together by an extremely silly plot with more holes than a triple-cunted hooker in nineteenth-century Whitechapel.
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